In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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