just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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