I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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