my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
