I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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