Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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