rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
