Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't turn off my feet"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
