A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
