True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize