i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
