i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
