How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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