I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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