Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I love having hate sex.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My vagina just clenched in fear
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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