apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
