How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
