She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my shit smells like andre
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
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i came on her dog
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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