Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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