I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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