Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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