Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
