she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
40s are totally the cure
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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