i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
