Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
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Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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