is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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