I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
