Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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