he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
