just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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