I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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