So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
