the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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