Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
