I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
