I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
