does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
