Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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