Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
