so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's blow job season.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
