I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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