Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
