WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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