I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
