He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize