Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He passed out mid-signature
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
