there was a trapeze. enough said
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
