Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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