Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
PANTIES FOUND
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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