I must be too annoying 4 u.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
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On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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