I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wish my penis had an off switch
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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