I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
