I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
