I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize